-* My Mistake *-

21th May 2008,
*- real story & what been written in here was true & real happening -*

I've been done something terrible mistake to my love life.There was my deeply regret didn't care about her feeling if she been treated by me like this. If I were in her shoe, sure I will feel the same. That's all my fault... *sigh*

She just went to study there. Why I should keep thinking nonsense & keep giving her pressure? If she really belongs to me, I should have no doubt on her. Really all my fault. But I really use to be sweet moment with her at all time previously. We use to online till dawn morning then sleep till noon to sms with each another. We keep chatting and messaging each another at all time. I was very happy with that moment. So sweet with each another like we both needed each another. We suppose are sweet couple but cause of my jealously make this happen. I'm really regret with it. I'm ruining my own life. I'm lost without her by my side, I really mean it!!!

Jealous is a devilish feeling. Maybe I'm too love her deeply in my heart. Just I showed it out in wrong way. She is sweetheart for me. I love her smile when I make her laugh. I care her when she crying. I feel that she caring me when she scolding me. I like she ordering me to do something for her, likes no one else would make me falls in love again just except for her. I feel happiness when she was in my arms. I like to hug her when she was in sad condition. She is my breathe that keep my heart beating at all time. She is wonderful girl that I ever meet before. May Angel just sent her down specially for me but I doesn't appreciate her. Jealous make me lost her in my life... *sob*

I keep mad with myself now. How could I treat my love one in this way? I should need to trust her more then I trust myself. Keep guessing nonsense will make someone hurts cause own action. I'm feel terrible sorry for her. Finally, I've been know that I did something terrible mistake in my life but now is already too late to change. I promise her that I will change. I fullish all the promise that I promised her. Just didn't tell her cause wanna give her suprise and let her mention by herself. But she doesn't mention it but thought I was lie her. Wow!!! so heart break with she told me that. All I need is given time by her for me to change & knows my mistake. I'm just love her more then love my own life & parents. She was too important for me, only her can make me feel like I really can't live without her by my side. I'M REALLY LOST WITHOUT HER!!! I'm just want a last chance to prove it. That's what I done only specially just for her. I want her in my life. She is my hope & will to keep survive in this world. She gave me the a power to keep fighting till the end. All I want is just HER(Celyne Ong Fong Fei)... "I Love You very much & my heart already been treasure just specially for you!!! "

Maybe is too late for that but I'm still will wait till she back to me even takes 100 years, " I will ". I'm still willing wait here for her to back to my side & love each another just like usual. Thats will be my 1st wish in my birthday wishes every year from this year till my birthday ends up. I'm willing to sacrifice all just for her. I want to make her happy & feel that she was most lucky girl in this world to be with me. I WILL... I take it seriously. I will make it comes true just for her. I wanna apologise for what I've done before & I mean it to change that for her. My mind now has play a role just only got her.

She wants me stop training tae-kwon-do, I've been stop training.
She wants me stop thinking nonsense, I've been thinking positive now. I really mean change for her.
She wants me stop give all money to parents, I will do that for her in future when I works later.If she want all my salary, I'm willing to give her. Money doesn't important for me. Important things for me in this world is LOVE. I'm willing sacrifice all just for LOVE & for her thats all I needed in my entire life. Money wouldn't finish earns but just LOVE can't buy from money.

If she read this blog, I really hope thats she might give us a chance to start once again. I'll show her that she is all I'm willing to sacrifice just for her & love , care her so much more then before I do. I can't lost her in my life. I just want secure & true love. I wouldn't playful with love feeling.
But if, she doesn't want to give me a last chance for me to prove it.
I bless her thats she might find someone more better then I was. I'm just hope her be a happy & lucky girl in this universal. Wish her good luck.

If she choose that, I will hardly fall in loves again.
I has been pour all my love to her with fully love shape. I just wanna her be happy.
I'm already lost cause been losing her & regret for what I done to her.
Heart broken very hurt... That's the feeling that I'm feels now.
I'm very hope that she will back to me some days.

I love you very much, Celyne.
I drive myself crazy thinking of you all time.
I hope have a chance to express my love to you.